Mad...i

How did something so valuable and intimate for me turn into such a game? I haven’t met a guy who’s wanted to take it slow and get to know me and love me as a best friend in a long time and when I think I have he proves me wrong. Is it me or them?

Feeling pretty fucking worthless and pointless right about now

remember

I remember when it was pouring rain sophomore year and I was a little weird hippie freak and I went and sat in the tree in our backyard for an hour just thinking and listening and quietly singing to myself. I was only 15 but I knew exactly who I was that whole year. I really loved myself. I had just met Ashley that year and had made one of the best friends to this day that I’ve ever had. We understood each other like no one else. The problem was that we were too alike, and well she was worse than me. But I didn’t know at the time what was to come of that so I enjoyed every minute with her. And then I met Eric and again, to this day he has been one of the best friends I have ever met. They both accepted me and loved me for my unrealistic but amazing dreams. I remember yelling at him in english about how I could make it to Alaska and I didn’t care what the hell he said. I remember laughing on the grass field with her and running away from Michael. I remember being so set in my beliefs and my dreams and my desires. I knew what I wanted and I got it no matter who said I couldn’t have it. I’m so out of touch with that girl… I miss her dearly. I have no clue who I am… kind of sad :/